The fight response.

When your brain detects danger, your sympathetic nervous system releases adrenaline and cortisol. Blood flows to your muscles, your breathing speeds up and your attention locks onto the threat. In fight mode, the strategy is to push back: argue, take control, defend.

The threat does not have to be physical. A critical email, a tone of voice or feeling disrespected can trigger the same response, especially if your nervous system learned early that you had to defend yourself.

Fight often develops in people who learned early that they had to protect themselves, or that nobody else would take charge. It is a strength in emergencies and a cost in everyday relationships when it fires too often.

None of the four stress responses is a flaw. Each one kept someone alive at some point. The goal is not to remove them, it is to stop getting stuck in them.

• Discharge the energy before deciding anything: a brisk walk, stairs, shaking out your arms.
• Use the physiological sigh: two short inhales through the nose, one long exhale through the mouth, three to five times.
• Name it out loud: "I am in fight mode right now."
• Delay important messages until your body has come back down.
• Unclench your jaw and drop your shoulders, on purpose.
• Long term, practice daily regulation so your baseline is lower.

Fight, flight, freeze and fawn are the four survival responses most often described today. Most people use a blend, and the dominant one can change depending on the situation and the person in front of them.

Read about the others: flight response, freeze response, fawn response.